Don't Hold Back Your Long Distance Relationship | Relationship

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If you are already in it or considering the option, don’t be discouraged, having a healthy long distance relationship is very possible.

I have heard people say they cannot be in one because the chances of it working is slim. If you are already in it or considering the option, don’t be discouraged, having a healthy long-distance relationship is very possible.

Some experts say; it’s healthy for a relationship to begin when two people live in different places.

An anonymous also said, if you want to live together, you must first learn how to live apart.

Nobody said it will be easy, yes, it will be emotionally challenging, the extra distance may make some things unachievable but with determination, good communication, and the right attitude, you both can make it work.

Here are a few tips on getting it right in a long-distance relationship:

1. GOOD COMMUNICATION: Its importance cannot be overemphasized, you need to regularly update your partner on your life and its happenings. The mundane things are as important. Frequent communication shows that you care enough to put time and effort into the relationship, and it’s easier to keep up to date with each other’s lives. If days pass by and gaps increase, the everyday experiences fade into the background and you get to start from scratch which is not ideal. Also, be deliberate in your choice of words, delve into details, don’t just say you went for a birthday, tell he/her details about things that happened, like friends you met and so on. Have intimacy-building conversations.

2. UTILIZE SOCIAL MEDIA: In this age of social media boom, handling a long-distance relationship just got easier. Social media apps like WhatsApp, Telegram, Skype, couple, avocado, kanoodle, have made it easy. Texting, chatting and video calls are now convenient. Know your partner's preferred mode of communicating, as long as it doesn’t inconvenience you, use it to your advantage. I’ll suggest more video calling, it's more convenient for the situation.

3. SET A GOAL TOGETHER: They should be a time plan, an agreed length of time you plan to be apart. The time limit removes hopelessness and makes it easier for both of you. Be clear about the end goal, it builds the commitment between you two.

4. DEEP LEVEL OF TRUST: Trust is the foundation on which relationships are built. You need to totally trust your partner, you avoid creating problems by doing this. A broken trust wears out the relationship, never give your partner a reason to doubt you.

5. BE BRUTALLY HONEST: Honesty builds trust. Be open and sincere. Honesty stretches to things or attitudes you dislike about your partner. Don’t manage it, be sincere, to avoid issues when you eventually meet.

6. KNOW YOUR SCHEDULE: When you know your schedules, you can work around it if you are too busy to communicate, inform your partner, don’t leave he/her guessing.

7. DO THINGS TOGETHER: Strengthen the bond between you two by doing things together, like a hobby, reading a book, watching a movie, or listening to songs. Also, fuel your romantic side, write each other love letters, poems, he/she can wake up to a video of you expressing how much you love him/ her. Be creative and watch how much you will bond despite the distance.

8. DON’T GO OVERBOARD: Don’t spend hours upon hours chatting or talking with your partner and other aspects of your life suffer. That can be damaging. The goal is quality, not quantity. Studies showed that although couples in close proximity have more quantity of time spent, the quality of the conversation in a long-distance relationship is more. Don’t put your life on hold, take advantage of the time you have, and improve other aspects of your life like personal goals, work-life, etc, while your relationship is growing.

9. KEEP GOOD FRIENDS AND FAMILY CLOSES: You need your loved ones around you, especially when you get lonely or missing your partner. They will be a good form of distraction especially because they are aware of the situation.

10. BE POSITIVE: Worry less about what could go wrong, focus on the bright side. See the relationship as a learning journey for both of you, as a test of your love for each other.

11. KEEP YOUR RELATIONSHIP PRIVATE: Don’t talk to too many people about your relationship, ignore the voices that will try to discourage you, people will have different opinions, filter the negative ones, especially when your partner puts in the effort to make it work.

12. MAKE PLANS FOR THE FUTURE: Make plans like where you will visit in the future, things you will do together when you eventually meet. Be realistic, don’t say things you can’t do, and make sure you follow through with the plans you make.

13. REALLY GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER: This is an opportunity to know your partner well based on the quality of your conversations. Bring in practical situations and get his opinions on them, it will help you understand the kind of person he/she is.

14. DON’T OVER IDEALIZE YOUR PARTNER: He/she is human, remember no one is perfect, so it’s not difficult to reconcile the person in your head with the actual person.

15. MAKE TIME TO VISIT: Take every opportunity you have to visit each other. Face-to-face communication is also important in the relationship.

16. CONSIDER YOUR PARTNER’S FEELINGS: When flirting with that cute guy/girl or an innocent drink with your ex, be careful. Don’t intentionally put yourself in a situation that can hurt your partner or get them worried.

17. AVOID IRRATIONAL ACTIONS: When you are angry at your partner for something they said or did. You might regret your actions later

Distance is no barrier for two hearts in love, focus on the love you share and make it work.

A long-distance relationship can also be beautiful if you put in the effort.

Written by Nelly Ebi